It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. It’s been a long while.
I don’t even know if I remember all of our pseudonyms. So bear with me while I get in back in the swing of things. Or don’t. Because so much has changed that I don’t know if this is really what’s going to work right now.
You see, since my last post almost a year ago, we adopted Lyberty, Raj and Cupcake. Maybe I’ll come back soon and tell their story in greater detail. Remind me to do that if you’re interested. But since adopting them, I’ve felt swamped. Busy. Overwhelmed at times. They’re great kids and we fall more and more in love with them each day, but each day is busy with four little ones.
And lately, we’ve been really struggling with Simeon. It’s gotten really, really tough and while there are so many very good reasons why he struggles with his big feelings, we’ve been in a downward spin for the past, oh I dunno, 4-6 months or so, and it’s started to wear thin on me.
A little bit.
And I remember that before, when things were tough, it was always so helpful to know that there was community out there. And that there were people who understood me. And it really made it not feel so overwhelming when I thought that our struggles might allow us to help other moms. So, I want to get back to blogging.
It’s not easy to talk about the yuck that goes on at home. It’s really hard to ask for help. And sometimes I don’t even know what to share or how to ask. And Simeon’s dignity is important to me. I don’t want to announce to all my friends and neighbors that he’s struggling in so many ways. Especially because people with the best of intentions don’t really understand. And make judgements about my child. And it strains those relationships. But I can’t keep it bottled inside much longer, either.
I need to remember that I’m not alone here. I need to remember that it’s not always so bad. And sometimes I need to laugh at myself.
If you’re out there and you’re still checking this blog [awkward wave] “He-ey. Thanks for staying in touch.” And if you’re new. “Friend, let’s chat. We need each other. If you don’t know that yet, let me tell you from experience – we NEED each other.”