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Regression makes me want to punch myself in the face

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The good news is that I’m not the only one.

Our play therapist, who is adorable – and a baby – but adorable, practically ran out with her hair on fire today.

Holy shnikes I forgot we cycle through this!!! It’s amazing how quickly you forget these things. Simeon still has some regressive behaviors, but they’re always getting shorter and better and I know them so well he has to do something really wild to get me to notice anymore.

These kids have been out of their skins since we got back from our trip. Which makes sense. But I’m seriously about to go crazy up in here!

Lyberty was so frantic this morning she was literally running around the living room naming the people in the house over and over again. She couldn’t complete a thought or remember our names. She was aggressive and selfish and often, quite literally, standing on her head.

Raj was a silent kind of angry. Or sad. Or both. He hid under his bed from the play therapist. I couldn’t help her. Then he threw puzzle pieces at her in the quietest most passive way possible. Then he hugged her. Then he was angry she tricked him out of his Bumble Bee mask (which she did not) and silently shook his bed rails. Then he hugged her. Weird.

Here’s the thing though, as much as regression sucks, and sucks it does, I can still tell that these kids have progressed so much in only two months. And that no matter how wacky they are right now, they feel safe here. We threw them off with the traveling and all, but we’re back. And we’re on our way to proving to them that good things don’t always end badly. And some people are honest. And they are safe. And they are wanted. And they are loved.

So while we’re in the valley of two steps back, we’re still celebrating the three steps forward we’ve made in such a short time. Not only that, I’m learning how to take care of myself. I’m blogging again. And tonight I’m getting a pedicure. And I have dark chocolate covered almonds in the cabinet. And the sun is shining warmly today, so I’ve kicked them all out to the back yard for a while so I can have some peace and quiet. If things get really crazy I can always turn the hose on them out there.*

If you’re in the valley today. Take a moment and think about where you were two months ago. Do you see even one sign of progress? A bareliest glimmer of hope? Hold tightly to that today. Hold on to the positive, the optimism, the faith that your child will be well someday. And remember, you are not alone.

*totally kidding. I would never do that. Psht…


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

One response »

  1. I’m not a foster parent but I totally use the hose trick while I’m out watering. If my son tries to tromp through the new grass or my flowers, I will warn him that I’ll spray him if he does it again. Works like a charm! (I barely mist him but he’s not a huge fan of the cold water so it isn’t torture or anything.)


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