When we first said yes to the three, we did so cautiously.
We were told some really scary things. Nothing totally foreign, but we certainly expected a handful (ha!).
Their first week with us wasn’t even half as bad as I expected. And instead of the honeymoon wearing off, it actually seems to be getting better (knock on wood, spit, turn around, do the shimmy and all).
Which has lead Leo and I to asking ourselves about how chaotic their previous placements must have been.
And how unfairly they must have been judged.
Honestly, their biggest issues are that they are twin four year olds (can you say whack-a-mole?) and that they simply haven’t been taught basic social skills OR have been taught bad habits. They get extremely stressed when faced with the unexpected (duh!). They don’t do well with new people and places (gee, I wonder why).
But really. They’re good kids. Kids who are hungry for consistency, routine, a hug once in a while, an atta boy/girl! You know, the simple things that all kids crave. And with these few things, most of the people who knew them six weeks ago wouldn’t even recognize them. They’re softer and quieter and more self-controlled. They laugh more and cry/rage less. They’re certainly still hurt. They certainly still have big feeling and serious issues that need to be faced and battled, but those things are so very normal given how much these kids have moved, been left, been let down.
And that makes me so, so angry.
because, seriously! How hard is this?! They never should have been “labeled” as they were. They never should have moved so many times. They never should have been failed so epically by so many adults!!! And the more I’m learning, the greater that number becomes. It’s INSANE how many times these kids could have been helped and weren’t. I’m really fighting bitterness against the people who simply accepted the expectation that these kids were out of control and didn’t take the time to find out anything else about them. I’m shocked at the number of people who missed the textbook behaviors. Seriously! People I have respected have failed.
And I know that we all miss the big picture sometimes. And I know we all make mistakes. But it just doesn’t seem fair that so many people failed at once (Or rather repeatedly over the past four years).
And now, Leo and I want to do what ever we can possibly do to make sure they’re never failed ever again.
And I believe God is blessing that. But I still don’t know what the future for them looks like. And termination is coming soon. And that scares the begeezes out of me. But I trust these kids will not be left behind again and that we will know what to do to make sure of that.