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Her hur.

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Our children are so very damaged.

They have hearts broken to bits. Most days they’re crawling out of their skins with anxiety, stress, fear, etc.

If you’ve ever read Beyond Consequences, or any other attachment books you’ll understand when I say that they are text book.

Lyberty is anxious and extroverted in her angst. Raja turns into a zombie.

The thing I’m struggling with most lately is Lyberty’s hair. It’s been relaxed. Badly.

It’s dry and sticks straight off her head in uneven clumps. She’s got broken bits and bald patches. It’s really, really bad. And it’s very noticible.

I’ve recieved opinions and advice about her hair more times than I can even count anymore. And none of them compassionate. Here’s what I currently want to scream to the world:

I DIDN’T DO THIS TO THIS CHILD’S HAIR!!!! I know it needs to be fixed. And I’m doing the best I can. I’m not just letting her run around unkempt. I simply can’t do much of anything with it. YES! I AM A WHITE WOMAN. I am very aware that caring for her hair is very different from caring for my own. NO! I’M NOT AN IDIOT. I’m not careless and I’m not treating this child as though she’s second class because it hasn’t been fixed yet. You don’t know the story so BACK UP OUT MY FACE AND SHUT YOURS!


And thank you.

Bless your heart.

I don’t actually say those things, of course. But I’m about at breaking point and the next time someone who should know better brings it up, I may not be able to be so gracious.

Is all I’m saying.

Thanks for letting me vent. Peace and love to all y’all 😉


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. Vent away my friend. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Praying for you.

    It’s so common to want to scream to the world, “this isn’t my fault” — whether it’s their hair, clothes, manners or behavior in general. I’ve contemplated making a shirt for myself. LOL

    I will continue praying for you!

  2. Oh how I hear you! CherubMamma…lets make a tee-shirt! LOL

    I wonder if she could tolerate a hair piece…

  3. attachment issues are so hard because even close family don’t see how deeply ours kids are effected. Sometimes I could use a t shirt too 🙂


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