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Father if you are willing, take this cup from me…

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…yet not my will, but yours be done.

I have so much to say about these kids. I have a list a mile long of posts part written.

Y’all. I am back in the thick of it.

Therapeutic parenting. Check.

These kids have it rough. Lack of attachment. Defiance. And a laundry list of really bizarre behaviors.

Nothing adds up. And my case worker visit today didn’t make it any clearer.

Mostly there’s a whole lot of unknown. Except I do know that when kids are raised in the kind of unstable, unattached, neglectful and possibly abusive situation that these kids have lived through… well, they’re doing ’bout as well as can be expected.

And I imagine there will be a lot of fodder for blogging.

So if you’re a foster parent and you want to know you’re not alone. Come back. If you’re a voyeur and are interested in the wacky things that happen in someone elses living room… grab your popcorn ’cause you’re in for a show!

In fact, here’s a list of  highlights from the past six days:

  • Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies about me, to me. Lies about others. Lies about themselves. I don’t even know what the truth is anymore.
  • Three year old depression is an ugly, heartbreaking monster. Imagine aimless wandering, crying, lethargy and mania. Yeah…
  • So Leo says… “remember that story in the Bible about the folks who brought their demon possessed child to Jesus. It was a little like that…”
  • Hymns lull the dragons inside. Thank God.
  • Hair. Hair! OMG what have they done to this child’s hair??!! Burnt (a three-year old with a perm?!). Balding. Breaking. Bizarre.
  • The bathtub = hyperventilating freak out. For all of us.

Oh, and there is so much more. Already!

But you know what the kicker is? They’re good kids at heart. You can tell. They just aren’t equipped to function in this world. And Leo and I have signed up to get them to that point. But to be real real here, we’re scared. This isn’t going to be easy. Not easy at all. But we know that God is in this. I don’t doubt that even a little bit now. I know we’re doing the right thing. I know we’re meant to do this. And I’m clinging, on my knees, crying out most days.

I think that’ll be our key to success. At least our key to survival. And at this point, Lord willing, our goal is to survive this.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

8 responses »

  1. Praying, praying, praying, praying, praying.

  2. Oh my! I don’t even know what to say except that I’m praying for you!!

  3. Praying for you all…. Peace, healing, sleep, rest, truth, light, joy, wisdom, and patience…… Tons of patience and love!

  4. Praying!!!!!

  5. Praying for you all. Lots of prayer.

  6. wow. I almost start shaking just reading…. been there with our two… so just a little PST!! 🙂 Prayers that they will heal. God give you strength and courage.


  7. On my knees with you as always dear friend. When you need that margarita give a shout out and it will happen!! Love You!!

  8. So happy to have found your blog! We are about to get our first placement! We think its crazy and scary and exciting and know that God is in it all.

    Thanks for sharing your heart.


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