I’m thinking about it, anyway.
My part-time job, that is.
Last year, Leo and I were really wanting to aggressively pay down debt. Some of it we’d racked up foolishly in our early days of marriage. Some of it was the result of some unavoidable circumstances we’ve found ourselves in over the past 8.75 years of marriage. Anyway, Leo’s job was great for paying bills and that was about it. We were really blessed that I didn’t HAVE to work to make ends meet, but things were still feeling tight, especially since some of our bills were simply us working towards not adding millions of dollars of interest on those credit cards.
So after lots of prayer, we decided that I would look for work.We only needed enough money to give us wiggle room to start chipping away at those credit card bills. But I didn’t want to put the kids in daycare. I didn’t want to work full time. It had to be a job I could do in the evening so that Leo could watch the kids. I didn’t want to work every night of the week. I didn’t want to work weekends. I’m sure you can imagine I was a dream applicant.
While looking for jobs within the school system (lunch lady, yes!), I stumbled across an application for ESL teacher. I didn’t have to have a current certificate (which is good because I let mine expire). I had some experience in teaching and in foreign language (if you count highschool French).
Miraculously, I got the job. I teach three hours two nights/week. I get paid well. I don’t have to do much outside of class. And I really, really, really LOVE what I do. I enjoy each one of my students. I belive that my job is worthwhile. I love the intellectual stimulation. I love getting to know amazing people from ALL OVER the world. It’s really wonderful.
But… We’re looking at paying off debt with our tax return this year. I don’t really make enough money to justify needing the job once that’s done. And truly, at this time, we don’t really even need the wiggle room anymore.
I keep thinking of reasons to keep the job: I want to remodel my kitchen (selfish), I want add a bathroom to our basement (selfish), I love my students (selfish). I know that leaving would put strain on an already strained, but valuable service the school offers our community. But my list for quitting keeps growing: I want to join a bible study at church, our new three will be needing a lot of attention, I don’t love being gone two nights a week because I feel really hesitant to leave for anything else, including grocery shopping, I do usually work about two or three hours outside of work preparing for my class, Leo’s work schedule sometimes conflict with mine and with the new brood finding help will be harder, etc.
So, I’m seriously thinking about quitting. And the idea of it makes me feel really happy. I would love to be done with that responsiblity. But I also feel sad when I think about not working with my students any more.
Despite feeling a bit torn, I’m pretty sure I’m submitting my resignation next week. And that this quarter will be my last.
This feels like a season of wrestling and leaps of faith. I’m thankful for the growth. And I do enjoy the change of scenery it provides, but I’m ready to be settled into a routine again, for sure!