RSS Feed

Trauma begets trauma

Posted on

And big feelings beget big feelings.

And tantrums beget tantrums.

And when you have a pair, things tend to happen in pairs. Oy.

And Leo bears the brunt of it. I think partly because he simply doesn’t have as many hours logged with them, partly because he’s quiet and mild, partly because he gets them at the end of the day when all of the reminders of abuse and abandonment have had time to fester.

Pretty Pink has fresh big feelings and she seems to be a reminder to Simeon that he has some old ones he hasn’t aired out in a while. Now’s as good a time as any, right? Right.

I work two nights/week. I’m gone as soon as Leo gets home and return after the kids have gone to bed. It’s a wonderful job that I enjoy. I’m paid well for the few hours I work. It doesn’t demand much of me outside of that time. It’s not just a job, it’s a ministry and I’m so thankful for it. But, when I know that leaving could mean that the following two or three hours for Leo are spent wrestling dragons, it’s hard.

I get the best of them. I get them early in the day and then, during the witching hours (4 to dinner), I either leave or get a partner to help distribute the yuck. Two nights/week, Leo comes home to the witching hours and stays.

Alone.

My brave knight.

I guess I’m just in awe of my Mr. I’m proud of his hard work and I want very much to be more like him. Fostering has changed us in a great many ways, but he’s no less mild, no less quiet and no less kind than he was before we started. And I think he’s stronger than I realized.

I don’t usually say our kids are lucky. They’ve lived through hell and we’re not exactly a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. But in this case, they are lucky. Or, rather they’re blessed. I am too. And proud.

[insert cheesy swoon here]

He’s MY hero.

And this, Leo, is a very small [anonymously shouted from the roof tops] THANK YOU. For the very great things you do. I love you.

The kids do, too. Even if they have a unconventional violent disturbing funny way of showing it.

Advertisements

About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

2 responses »

  1. You can’t do it alone, either. Take the help, mama! And, maybe pick him up a cookie on your way home 😉

    Reply
  2. And its exactly this type of note and appreciation that can carry him through however many more rough nights are headed his way. You two are an inspiring team!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: