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Before I begin with my clearly eloquent post, I’d like to say that our Christmas was really wonderful. We enjoyed time with family and lots of good food. We are awed by the blessings we’ve received this past year and we are thankful for the greatest earthly gift we received in our son. With all the excitement of having Simeon spend his first Christmas as our forever son with us, it seems we’ve created a little “all about me monster”, but I’m working hard to bring this kid back down a few notches 😉

A few days before Christmas we had a visit from our county worker. The one who monitors and “manages” us. She’s a really lovely woman and I always enjoy her visits. It’s her job to hear my concerns, update me on county changes, make sure we’re feeling comfortable and content. She knows the details of nearly all of our cases and we often spend a great deal of time talking about what went well and what didn’t. We talk about feelings and about what has happened with the children who have left us. She doesn’t often have much information, but sometimes there are still cases that continue to have DFCS invovlement and she’s good about keeping us posted.

During this last meeting, I expressed my desire to be on call only for a while. She was completely on board with that idea. Our meeting was brief, but before she left, she had one more thing she wanted to leave me to think about.

In September, we received an eight-day old baby girl. She had siblings in another home and we were to keep her until she was old enough for day care. We did and it all worked out exactly as planned. I had some concerns about the intention and attitude of the foster home they were placed in and took my concerns to some in the county. As it turns out, my concerns were founded and now that this case is being considered for TPR the foster family who claimed to want these kids forever, is now waffling. They have invested nearly six months in the lives of these kids, knowing full well where this case would most likely go, and now they want out.

I’m trying not to judge, but I’ve met this family in person and that makes it really difficult. I know for a fact that these kids aren’t getting the support, help or advocacy they deserve. My worker confirmed this fact. The foster family is doing nothing for these kids. And if the foster family isn’t at the very least cooperative, then the kids will miss out on a lot. She didn’t say it, but my caseworker seemed to indicate that it wasn’t just the family waffling on the dsire to keep these kids, but DFCS was lacking confidence in their ability to serve as the best home for them.

So after sharing all of that, my worker asked if Leo and I would be willing to consider taking them on as an adoption placement.

It’s a nearly four-month old baby girl and twin four-year olds.

I sat mouth agape. Uh…. Well… Uh….

She explained that because we had baby girl for a time and no one else knows these kids, we get first right of refusal. And well… that’s a really hard thing to do.

Mostly, the conversation ended with a promise to keep me updated and my willingness to think and pray about this. She said we’d talk again in January (though between you and me, I’d be surprised if they called me to talk. I suspect they’ll call only if this family bails and they need a decision in 24 hours). So, Leo and I need to have an answer prepared before that phone call happens.

And you know what’s shocked us most? We weren’t ready to jump in head first, take on three more kids, etc. But we didn’t run screaming for the hills either. We really feel like we could go either way. Obviously, it’s not really as simple as all that. Obviously there’s A LOT to consider in all this, but there are pros and cons to both decisions.

And in true fostering fashion, we are fully prepared to never have to make that decision at all.

So that’s new… uh…. and I guess I’ll post about the pros and cons, or perhaps if a dicision is made before I get around to that, I’ll post about how that all goes.

Hope you all had a perfectly dream-like Christmas. And have a Happy New Year!!!


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. Keeping you in my prayers. We would most certainly run for the hills. That you’re not truly says something about your intentions as a foster family.

  2. I’ll be praying for God’s guidance and peace on this huge decision. Glad your Christmas was happy!

  3. I am sure your hearts will make the right one. Sometimes, I do wish our hearts were a little louder, though 😉


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