So, this is more for my records than for you interwebbers out there. I was thinking recently about the past few months’ events and realized that things are getting fuzzy. It all went by in a blur and I want to keep it straight while I can. Here goes:
- January 2011 – Simeon TPR. Almost behavior 360. Weird. Wonderful.
- Waiting, waiting, waiting.
- Waiting, waiting, waiting. *I remember almost nothing from the time between TPR and D’s arrival.
- March 8, 2011 – D arrives very late at night. He’s cute. We don’t fall in love right away. Understatement.
- May 4, 2011 – I get the 30 day notice on D. We go to Savannah and have fun. I start to really like the kid.
- June 4, 2011 – D is still with us. I have a birthday. I love D. Simeon wears a swim mask nearly every day for two straight months. In other words, adorable. No word on adoption.
- July, August, September – D’s case worker sucks eggs. D captures my heart completely. D’s family starts visits. Harumph! Adoption date gets set for October 13th. Hurray!!! EEeek!!! We get a newborn baby girl for 6 weeks. Sleep is over rated.
- October 2011 – D’s family visits continue. My heart breaks. D’s case worker makes everything infinitely complicated and stressful. Simeon turns 5 -woohoo! We adopt Simeon -WOOOHOOOO!!!! I email everyone I can think of about D’s case. I talk to Simeon’s old case worker, now D’s permanency advocate. We get a newborn who seriously doesn’t sleep. We get a plan for D to transition home. We have K’s carnival themed adoption party. There are no ponies and no ferris wheel. We still have fun.October is a busy, busy, busy month.
- November 4, 2011 – D goes home. We all cry. It’s good and sad and we miss him. The newborn boy who never got a pseudonym is going to stay. We’re going to take his brother. We’re going to take his brotherS. We’re not taking anybody. November goes by in a blur.
- December 2011 – The newborn boy who never got a pseudonym goes home. Everyone agrees this is a bad idea. Simeon and I wander around the house without purpose or plan for two weeks. We sleep a lot. We cut out lots of paper hearts [Simeon’s favorite thing to do]. We snuggle and watch far too much TV. I get some Christmas shopping done. I unplug from most of the world. I enjoy my son. I give Santa the boot and tell Simeon he’s just pretend [Santa. Simeon is very real. Vague pronouns. Sheesh]. Some people do not appreciate that [The Santa bit, not vague pronoun references]. Whatevs.
So, that’s the past year in a nutshell. It’s not a miniseries of posts about the highs and lows of parenting. It’s not a play-by-play of the worst case worker fails I’ve seen in the system yet. It’s not a deep and moving post sharing the heart changes and swells of adoption and fostering. It is what it is and that, I think, is how I want to remember it all. A list of events that changed the course of our family and how we love others forever. Because it really is just that simple. And all the really deep stuff, the incredibly wonderful and the truly heart breaking bits, feel so private and personal that I don’t really want to write it all down. In fact, I’m not sure I could find the words if I really did want to. I think, now, maybe, I might be ready to move on from all of it. I’m ready to just begin life as status quo with my son and get back in the foster care saddle if you will.
- We’re on call for Christmas. Every night I pray we don’t get a call. But a little bit of me gets excited at the thought of being a safe place for Christmas.
- We’ve been asked to serve as foster parent mentors for our county for the second time. We’ve said yes for the second time. I’m guessing sometime before the end of this decade someone will actually put us to work [or not]. Of course, I imagine we’ll be asked if we’ve been asked at least half dozen more times before that.
- We’ve been presented with a very intriguing proposition from our county [nothing will likely come of it]. We’ll be spending the next month really seeking the Lord anyway.
- I’m thinking of putting Simeon in partial day kindergarten in August. Because even though I’m a teacher, I can’t commit to an education plan for my kid and this seems like the easiest way out. And he should probably learn to count past 14 sometime before he is 14. Not that lego spaceships and diapering stuffed animals won’t serve him well later in life.