So… five weeks ago, I thought it would be an awesome idea to take on a newborn.
And it wasn’t all bad. She was gorgeous and really, really easy. Really. And the boys LOVED having her. And really, I can never resist that sour little baby smell. We spent most of the past five weeks cheek to cheek. Which was awesome. But also pretty inconvenient. Afterall, we have a few things happening over here.
First, Simeon turned five yesterday. And I feel like I’ve entered some new stage of parenting. He’s not a tiny little pre-schooler anymore. He’s five. And this is the third time we’ve celebrated a birthday with him. Uh-mazing!
Second, we will go to court to finalize our adoption on Thursday. As in day after tomorrow. And while I’m not very good at feeling big feelings, I feel all sorts of out of sorts. And nervous. And excited. And happy. And a little sad. But mostly, I’m thankful. Ever so very thankful.
But I think I’m starting to get that feeling that I had around the time Leo and I were getting married. It’s this wonderful, magical, lifetime altering event and I can’t wait to get it over with so we can have some normalcy and begin our lives together. On top of our usual day to day, caring for a newborn, working, etc., we’ve been working really hard at getting ready for our adoption day and our adoption day party.
Man, I’m feeling beat. In the most wonderful way, of course. But part of what’s going on, is that I haven’t really had much time to think and reflect and process. And being the serious introvert that I am, I really need that time. I’m mostly feeling this strange, bundle of emotions that has me sobbing happy tears over the birthday candle selection at Target, hiding in my bathroom in fear, squealing in delight every time Simeon calls me mom, mommy, mama, stamping my feet in a temper tantrum of stress, and staring into space trying to focus on one single thought at a time.
It’s the most kind of wonderful, awful, exhilarating time so far in our family development. Though it really makes me wonder what mothers about to give birth feel about this count down of days…
Maybe when it’s all over, I’ll write some really eloquent post summarizing precisely this whirlwind of time. If not, in the end, I’m thankful. So very thankful for every second of this journey to forever family.