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The past five weeks have liquified my brain

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So… five weeks ago, I thought it would be an awesome idea to take on a newborn.

And it wasn’t all bad. She was gorgeous and really, really easy. Really. And the boys LOVED having her. And really, I can never resist that sour little baby smell. We spent most of the past five weeks cheek to cheek. Which was awesome. But also pretty inconvenient. Afterall, we have a few things happening over here.

First, Simeon turned five yesterday. And I feel like I’ve entered some new stage of parenting. He’s not a tiny little pre-schooler anymore. He’s five. And this is the third time we’ve celebrated a birthday with him. Uh-mazing!

Second, we will go to court to finalize our adoption on Thursday. As in day after tomorrow. And while I’m not very good at feeling big feelings, I feel all sorts of out of sorts. And nervous. And excited. And happy. And a little sad. But mostly, I’m thankful. Ever so very thankful.

But I think I’m starting to get that feeling that I had around the time Leo and I were getting married. It’s this wonderful, magical, lifetime altering event and I can’t wait to get it over with so we can have some normalcy and begin our lives together. On top of our usual day to day, caring for a newborn, working, etc., we’ve been working really hard at getting ready for our adoption day and our adoption day party.

Man, I’m feeling beat. In the most wonderful way, of course. But part of what’s going on, is that I haven’t really had much time to think and reflect and process. And being the serious introvert that I am, I really need that time. I’m mostly feeling this strange, bundle of emotions that has me sobbing happy tears over the birthday candle selection at Target, hiding in my bathroom in fear, squealing in delight every time Simeon calls me mom, mommy, mama, stamping my feet in a temper tantrum of stress, and staring into space trying to focus on one single thought at a time.

It’s the most kind of wonderful, awful, exhilarating time so far in our family development. Though it really makes me wonder what mothers about to give birth feel about this count down of days…

Maybe when it’s all over, I’ll write some really eloquent post summarizing precisely this whirlwind of time. If not, in the end, I’m thankful. So very thankful for every second of this journey to forever family.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

7 responses »

  1. It’s a great time of year to adopt! We celebrate the anniversary of our adoption day with Cherub 2 on Wednesday this week.

    Sorry your brain is liquified. 🙂 But congratulations on all the positive stuff nonetheless!

  2. Thank you for letting us tag along on this journey! It’s been an amazing ride so far.

  3. You may not have felt eloquent–but you nailed it. Yes, similar feelings to when we got married. And worried about all the little details, it’s hard to remember to FEEL the big feelings. I’m just so happy for you.

  4. So very happy for you!! May your cup overflow, my friend. Praying you are not too overwhelmed in the details. Take a deep breath, breathe, and take it all in. Praising God for this wonderful, blessed event!!

  5. AHHHHHHHHH! That’s all I got.

  6. Sounds SO SO exhausting, but awesome! Congrats on impending adoption. I am dying for a call for a newborn. I know it’ll make my life so crazy I might regret it, but I have never had a small baby to parent and I’d just love to have the experience

  7. Sooo?? How did it go?!?

    I know life is crazy, but I’m impatient and dying to know 😉

    Adopted…is he ADOPTED?!?


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