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Fatness.

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I have seen that recently billboards depicting round – beleaguered children have popped up.  I believe it’s part of a national campaign. They have slogans that assert the ills of being overweight.

I like them. And I hate them. But I think mostly I like them.

As you can imagine, I’m in a pretty small camp.

One of the slogans is something like: fat kids make fat adults.

While I know this isn’t always true. It was/is certainly true for me. And while I realize that my weight struggles have gnarly roots in my own psychological, emotional and screwy physical development, I believe that the problem and the solution lie within me and my willingness to fight for my best self.  So I have. Well, mostly. I won’t say no to a slice of cake if it’s offered. (Note: if you love me, don’t offer)

Many of you have read this post on how much I like my body. It’s all true. In fact, one of my biggest fears is that when I do get to be my healthiest me, I’m not going to be so soft and warm and plump. I like that about me.

Truthfully, though, I do realize that at the time I wrote that post, I was the biggest I’ve ever been. And I didn’t feel great. And my hair and skin were worse for the wear. So for my future, for my children’s future, for my husband and the fun we can have if I’m say…. more energetic… I made up my mind to make a change.

Since June 10th of this year, I’ve lost about 18 pounds. I haven’t really been trying so hard. What I’ve done is make some pretty simple changes to the way I eat and the way I move. And to be honest, I love the way I feel. I want to be the very best me inside and out. I believe that the promoters of these billboards are simply trying to do the same thing. Make sincere deep changes. Change lives… for the better. I don’t mind if my kids see that. Afterall, isn’t it my job to help filter those things?

I’m not complaining because I see the truth plastered before me. If we don’t teach our children to fight for their healthiest selves, they won’t ever learn, especially in a world where making unhealthy choices is so much easier. If their self-esteem is at risk, it’s a little bit my fault for not building them up in a way to both love themselves and expect the best of themselves.

Since my grandmother passed away last week, I’ve really struggled. I want to eat all the time. I want to eat to soothe, to comfort, to lull me to a place of apathy. If I’m in a sugar coma, I won’t have to deal the pain that comes with brokeness of my paternal family. If I were a drinker, I’d drink a bottle. If I were a smoker, I’d smoke the whole pack. But I’m not. I’m a cookie eater. And all the work I’ve done to be stronger, faster, healthier me is at stake here. What I need to remember is that my fight isn’t with food. It’s with my heart, my mind. It’s with my will. I do a lot of things well. I can’t fail at this one.

Yes, we should be taught love ourselves. But we should also be taught to fight for our best selves. That’s the hard lesson I’ve had to learn. If these billboards help further that cause, then I’m on board. Woot, woot!

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. I get it. Fight the cookie!

    Reply
  2. Amen, sister. I am right there with you. I like being in small camps.

    I also like being fat. It’s much easier. MUCH easier. I have been trying really hard, and so far I have lost 11lbs since Sept 1, but it has been so not fun to not have my bowl of whales at night, or two slices of pizza at my mom’s, or root beer. Mmmmm, root beer! LOL

    But I am with you. I do not want my son to grow up and like being fat as much as I do. It’s just not healthy…it’s better to fight myself now, and teach him ways to enjoy life and food without having boundaries,. than to watch him struggle as an adult.

    Im sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Praying for comfort for you!

    Reply
  3. I so agree. Never been a drinker, but know the binge cycle of eating and smoking. Smoking kept me at a healthier weight. Not smoked for 5 years. I’m an all or nothing person, so quit cold turkey. I hate that I have to eat, cos food too is my drug of choice, and I can’t quit that cold turkey.

    Reply

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