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I came back and everything was perfect!

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Maybe not.

Leo was amazing this weekend. The house was beautiful and clean. The kids were clean and happy. I am rested and ready to dive back in.

Leo was able to get some of my perspective, which is invaluable. I’ve been so waded in the muck of Simeon’s big feelings and behaviors that I wasn’t even able to articulate what each and every day was like. In recounting the events of the weekend, Leo was able to succinctly give words to the vortex I’d felt I was being sucked into the past few weeks.

This will be so helpful when we go to therapy tomorrow.

So I didn’t have any huge revelations. I didn’t come back to a healthy whole child whose problems had all be healed. So, no, everything is not perfect, but I feel like I have a handle on it. I was able to step out just enough. I was able to think and read and remember what I love about this life. It was good.

Next on the agenda… family Vacay!!! We leave seven days from today and we’re pouring every hour of every day we’re gone into Simeon. Bonding, healing, loving.

Baby D’s going to respite, which I hate for all of us, but I really feel like it’s the very best thing for all of us. I really hope he can stay with the relatives he’s supposed to be moving into permanency with (hello transition, this would be a good thing), but if that doesn’t work out (hello lousy case worker), we have a pretty good respite provider lined up. She’s newly approved and this will be her first placement. Boy is she lucky! He’s going to ruin her with his cuteness and ease in caring for.



About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

4 responses »

  1. So glad you got a break!
    …I think we should organize a foster mama retreat sometime, how fun would that be????

  2. Yes please! Could we really do it???

  3. Hope you have a wonderful vaca!!

    I’m glad that you got some time away. Everything will never be perfect but time away always makes me realize how overrated perfect is.

  4. Ahhh! So many things I want to say…but I will just say this. THANK YOU for writing about D! I can relate, and that is sooo helpful to me.

    Im so glad you got some time away. I don’t think my husband could handle me having extended time away, but he does make sure I get to go shopping alone and go on day trips, take on photo shoots, etc. It does a heart good to “get away.”

    Have a great vacation! We are having a huge ongoing discussion right now on whether or not to bring our two to Disney with us in a couple months. I just cannot imagine NOT taking a 3 year old to Disney, but I also know that bringing her would mean a very very very long week that could quite possibly be a complete waste of thousands of dollars. My heart just breaks at the thought of leaving her out.


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