My family has decided that since Sundays are such busy days, they want today to be Mother’s day.
So they let me sleep in. Except they didn’t because Simeon burst in while Leo wasn’t looking to tell me they have a surprise for me. Which by the smell of it, is breakfast. Leo ran back and pulled him away. So now they think I’m sleeping. Which may be even better [wink]
I woke up this morning thinking about the first time I really celebrated mother’s day. And it wasn’t the first time I had children in my home. It was two years before that.
The year before that we had been told that having children wasn’t impossible, merely improbable. We had decided that we weren’t going to do anything more. We didn’t want tests. We didn’t want drugs. We would live life with whatever the diagnosis at the time was. And the diagnosis was that I don’t ovulate regularly, so what is a beats all odds miracle, in my womb, had the stakes raised.
The following year, the year mother’s day became a special day between Leo and I, I had recently gone for my yearly exam. After the exam, my Dr. wanted me to take a pregnancy test, something I was not expecting. So I tried to pee. I really did. But I’d already peed and then I was nervous, so I couldn’t. He sent me across the street for a blood draw. The next 24 hours were a nerve wracking few. And then the call. The test was negative. Of course. We weren’t really surprised. And I can’t say we were really that disappointed because we hadn’t suspected or hoped for more (until that last 24 hours of course).
A few weeks later, we prepared for mother’s day. And suddenly I felt marginal. I wasn’t a mom and I may never be. We had no plans to adopt, or foster, or anything. We had no intention of trying to have a baby with science. And we were reassured that having a baby on our own was, well, not going to happen. I didn’t resent other moms. I didn’t feel a great aching void, I mostly felt, confused. Where do I fit in? A woman. A wife. But never a mother? I hadn’t really thought of it before. And suddenly, this day kind of seemed like a downer.
Until my sweet Leo stepped in. And for mother’s day that year, he made the most beautiful and delicious eggless chocolate tort in honor of me.
And I laughed. Oh, how I laughed. It was exactly what I needed to break free of my funk and pity party. And every year since, he’s made a dessert eggless, of course. And we celebrated the love we showed to other children in our lives. And we celebrated the mothers we are so very blessed to have.
And two years later, I was mothering children I never imagined would be living in my home. And this mother’s day, I’m mothering a child that we are adopting. And it absolutely boggles my mind the blessings we’ve been given.
Still the most precious gift I celebrate is the man that has shared in this crazy journey with me. The man who knows just how to make me laugh when there doesn’t seem to be very much at all to laugh about. My Leo [cue cheesy swoon].