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We still have not heard any word on baby sister.

And I am not taking it well.

Today I received an email that essentially said “you’re only the foster parent, no one needs to, nor will they share information unless it pertains to you. So stop asking.”

It was all much nicer, of course. But I heard it. Loud and clear.

Which is fine. I get it. But can’t just accept it. I can’t.

There’s a baby girl out there without a family. And while I’m sure she’s got some amazing foster parents, she doesn’t have any family trying to get to her. And she’s not bonding with a permanent family. And Simeon isn’t with her. And it’s just all wrong. He’s our family. So she’s our family. And we want to be with her.

And I’m losing sleep because she’s out there and not here and I’ve been told to quit asking for her.

I know why the law is set this way. I know the courts work this way. And I’m thankful, but I truly feel in this case, the child is losing.

And it is still. Breaking. My. Heart. For real.

So today, I told Simeon about her. He wanted to know her name (which I have asked for, but not gotten). He wanted to know if she came, would that mean Baby D. leaves. He wanted to know if Baby D. was a boy or a girl (a fact he knows well and announces regularly in public. Often presenting concrete evidence to the fact). He wanted to know if Baby D. would leave tomorrow or Wednesday or later. Then he prayed: “God. Thank you baby not sick. Keep baby not sick. Thank you dinner. The end.”

And it was funny. But it was also heart wrenching because he doesn’t get what he’s missing.

But I get it. And in case I haven’t mentioned it, it’s breaking my heart.

Also, are any of my other wordpressers missing the banner with the links to your account or blog? I have to google search for a log in. Which leads me to a new blog link and that’s the only place I can get the banner to create a new post. When I just go to my blog, I can edit the post, but  I can’t do anything else.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. When does your adoption of Simeon finalize? Do you think that will change their minds? Would they consider you kinship then? Do you think it is just because baby girl is in a different state? Sigh. I would be ultra frustrated too. Is there any way for you to contact someone higher up or a GAL about this?

    • Our adoption won’t finalize for several more months. I don’t think we would be kinship then either. The issue isn’t the relationship, it’s the location. Mom fled our state so essentially, baby girl is stuck in a far away land. I’m talking to a pretty high up. Really, unless a judge from that state released her, and a judge from our state accepted her, there’s nothing anyone else can do. Aside from an ICPC which will take approximately… forever. As in the child could be on her way to driving herself here. humph!

  2. God can move mountains, will keep praying…


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