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I think I’m gonna be sick…

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I’m shaking. My stomach is in knots. And it’s all because of one little text:

“Hey… [Ms. Cray Cray] had the baby in [far away land]”

That’s it. So I texted back.


So I called back.


Finally got a text back that the case worker was in a meeting and would call me later.


I had given up hope for ever knowing little girl. I haven’t talked much about it, but we’ve been individually grieving the loss of someone we never even met. Mostly becuase we know what her future holds. Or we at least have an idea.

And folks, it’s grim.

But now. Now! someone knows where she is. And they’re calling me to tell. Which may mean they could bring her to me. Which is an absurd leap for me to make. Like really.

But I feel like there’s a chance. And I want it to happen so badly. I want my Simeon to have his sister, if it’s at all possible. And y’all, I’m gonna go ahead and confess this… I want this baby girl. I really, really want her.

But I have no idea what’s going to happen. At the moment, my head is merely spinning with all of the possiblities. But let me tell you, if they told me I could go get her (never in a million years), I’d be in my car and on my way to [far away land] tonight!

Geeze!!! How long can this meeting take??!!

I’ll keep you posted.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

4 responses »

  1. I get it 100%. Eeeeekkkk!!!! Ring phone, riiiiing!!

  2. Is far far away land close to one of us? We’ll go snag her.
    But seriously, I’d be shaking, too. Praying for you.

  3. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you!!!! Can’t wait to hear more!

  4. My heart cries out… ((Big hug))


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