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I’m drying out and other thoughts.

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  • My childhood memories are quite spotty. I have huge chunks of time that are completely unaccounted for. The majority of my memories are set at the coast. And I miss it. I was made for water. It’s been too long and I fear I’m drying out.
  • I’m reading a book called the River Queen. It’s a memoir about a woman who lost her father and sailed the Mississippi in hopes of finding peace.
  • I lost my dad. And even though we didn’t have a good relationship. Or much of one at all. I am sometimes overwhelmed by the loss of him. Like last night, driving home. I’m suddenly accosted by a memory– Life on the coast. By the marsh. In the sticky sweetness of summer. Beside my father– I cried the whole way home.
  • Another book I tried to read was One Good Dog (?) Pretentious. Inaccessible. Fail.
  • Other books on my night stand: Therapeutic Parenting, When Love is Not Enough, and Dandelion on My Pillow Butcher Knife Beneath. If you can’t tell, our state has a kick butt lending library for foster and adoptive parents. Sweet!!! I’ll let you know if I glean anything good.
  • Simeon’s mom is freaking driving me bananas. She did a stupid thing she was told not to do. Now our tax return is being held. Even though we did the right thing. Who knows how long this will take to work out. Even if we can figure out where she is. Oh, and that nice child credit… that’s how we’re planning to pay for this adoption, so… meh!
  • The count down to operation baby alert begins very soon. I’m trying so hard not to drive our social services workers crazy, but the thought of this baby girl stuck in that world makes me dizzy. Please God. Please….
  • We’re foster parenting some bunnies this weekend. Cute, fuzzy, already pooped while being held bunnies. Their cage is enormous. But they don’t stink. Or make noise. And Simeon is so very tender to them. Be still my heart. Though, I’m pretty certain bunnies are not the pet for us.
  • We visited with some friends for dinner tonight and I was so feeling the happiness of this spring weather that I made a lemon cake with lemon glaze. Done. Sold. I’ll be making another one and I’m not sharing. Even if you ask nicely. Ok, but only if you ask nicely.
  • We’re hosting a men’s breakfast this weekend. Rather, I’m like the ghost host to Leo’s gig. I’m filling the house with the smell of bacon and hightailing it outta here.

Wish me luck, friends! Hope your weekend is filled with wonderful, delightful, sunshiny, lemony things!


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

One response »

  1. My husband is coming home from travel. My baby is turning 5 on Monday. Good things, indeed.

    Love you. I believe that these feelings are being used for greater good. All of them.


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