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I already texted Daisy today. I thought I was done, but the more I think about it, the more frustrated I am.

Today we had a citizen review hearing. These are no big deal, so I figured we’d go and smile for the reviewers, get our pat on the back and be on with our day.

30 minutes before the hearing, I was asked if Simeon’s dad could have his final visit. I knew it would be coming and while I would have liked more notice, I agreed.

So, I told Simeon that we may be seeing his dad. He informed me that he would be sad. I told him that being sad was perfectly acceptable. On we went.

A few minutes later, I was told there would be no visit today. This time Leo did the hard work and told Simeon we would not be visiting.

Finally, the caseworker called back and scheduled an hour visit for next week.

I understand the rational behind this. It’s a chance for goodbyes, but the more I think about this, the more absurd it seems.

Frist, Simeon met his dad for the first time last April. They had four or five supervised visits. Then dad disappeared again until July. They saw each other once at court. Then dad disappeared again until now.

Simeon has enough confusing feelings. And he hasn’t seen his father for seven months. They want us to schedule a visit with a virtual stranger so that Simeon can say goodbye forever?!

The whole thing seems absurd. And I can only assume we are doing it for the father. Because this cannot be in Simeon’s best interest, can it? And I don’t think it’s me uncomfortable with this. Because in the end, Simeon’s still coming home with me. And I know that while we may face some ugly feelings following, we’ll be back here again before long.

I guess I really just want this done. And this does not feel like done!



About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

5 responses »

  1. I hope that Simeons visit with his dad isn’t too confusing. I remember when my little (now) sister had her final visit with her bio-mom. (At the age of four). She came home and said “I’m never going to see my mom again”. It broke my heart. Apparently there were a lot of tears and her bio mom cried a lot…I sometimes wonder how that effects her almost a year and a half later. Both the bio mom and my precious sister lost something so precious that day!

  2. I assumed that TPR was really TPR. If they wanted a last visit they should have scheduled it before?

    It’s horrid for all of you but especially Simeon. What a roller coaster ride for him when he has already been told that he won’t see them anymore. I guess you should buckle yourselves in, because it’s sure to come out in his behavior sometime.

  3. Oh gosh…praying for you all. I know how frustrating it can be!!!! Soon all will calm down and you all will be able, more than ever, to provide stability. Hang in there!

  4. The priorities and focus of this definitely seem out of place. I hope Simeon is able to process this and make peace with it all. Thinking good thoughts for your family.

    Also–I’m not sure what criteria you use to give out passwords–but I would love to follow along with the happenings of your beautiful family. I couldn’t find contact info, but if you feel comfortable–I can be reached at

  5. Sigh. This is so hard. He will need you, and you will be there. That’s grace. You’re teaching him it every day.


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