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Adoption questions

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Since the termination hearing, I’ve been asked lots of questions. Here are some answers.

1. Will you be changing Simeon’s name?

No. He’s four. There are enough confusing things going on in his head. And I like his real name. True, it’s not one I would have chosen had I birthed him, but it suits him, I think. His middle name is nice, too. We’ll also be keeping that. He doesn’t know his last name, so the fact that it’s changing is no big. Of course, I will be teaching him his new last name.

2. When will you put away his parents’ pictures? Related question: What will you call them?

Ummm. Never. Unless he wants them put away, the pictures will stay where they always have. From the beginning we’ve differentiated his parents (mom and dad) from Leo and I (Mama Monica and Papa). I don’t see any reason for this to change. Simeon has a birth family. They are crazy, but they’re still his family. We’re not replacing them, we’re simply filling a new role. Leo and I are becoming family, but that doesn’t mean that his first family vanishes forever. They are important. They have value. Leo and I respect that. And someday, he’ll want to know more about them. We want Simeon to know that we are secure in our roles and that while we aren’t happy with the choices his family makes, and while we are frustrated by their crazy (imagine that delivered with more tact), we still love and appreciate them for who they are and the gift they’ve given us.

3. How long will this process take?

We’re looking at being done in the next 6 – 8 months. I’m not exactly sure what takes so long, but now that the termination is done, I’m less stressed. And it leaves plenty of time to plan the party. And party we will!

4. Will you be changing your phone number?

No. I can block calls if that becomes necessary, but I’m not really worried. and I would like to have at least a partially open adoption. I will gladly send updates and pictures to his parents. And someday, when I can trust that Simeon is secure in our values and will not be persuaded by their manipulations, if he wants to know them, I want him to have access to them. They don’t have rights to parent him, but he has a right to know them if he wants to. It won’t happen any time soon. And when he’s ready they may be impossible to track, but I want provisions in place in case the day does come that he wants to meet them.

5. Baby sister?

Yes. Several months ago, mom revealed to us the sex of the baby. I’m not sure why, but she did.

Those are all the questions we have for now. If you have any others about this case or anything, you’re welcome to ask. You can email questions to


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. You are so incredibly awesome! I just love your approach to these questions!! What a beautiful way to honor a first family!! (even if they are crazy)

    Healing will come for Simeon. I just know it!

  2. Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

  3. Perfect. You are spot on and have his heart in mind. I love it.


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