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You can be anything you want to be, but you must also be nice.

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This is the foundation for our beliefs as parents. Not that we’re experts. Or that we’re doing it well.

For example, the title of this post was a sentence I yelled to Simeon today. Yeah… lead by example, right?

After smearing glue over the beginnings of a gift I’m making for a young lady at our church, Simeon laughed mockingly when I dropped a big bowl of buttons on the hardwood floor.

I nearly lost my cheese and crackers. Not because he made a mess of my craft. Or that he seemed completely un-remorseful. But that he laughed at me cruelly when I made a mistake.

The point is. I believe strongly that no matter what he chooses for himself, if he learns anything from me, it should be kindness.

I’m daily working to model that. Not just in the world, but in our home.

God, help me be a daily example of kindness and compassion and mercy. In the world. And in my home.

This reminds me that raising a child is quite possibly the most daunting responsibility a person can take on.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. You took the words right out of my mouth (again). I told A last night that if nothing else, I want the kids to be empathetic. Its great to be in touch with your own feelings, but to be in touch with others’ feelings? That is the ticket.

  2. Oh,yes. Perfectly said. We want kindness as well. Really, that’s what we want more than almost anything else. Kind hearts.

    I feel like I’m finally started in hit my stride with them. For now. Aren’t you dizzy riding this motherhood roaster coaster? I know I am.

  3. LOL. Exactly! Recently, having weathered our first full year together as a family, I decided that we’d built enough trust with our teenage foster/adoptive son that we could put a little more energy into coaching his social skills. “I’d like to see some sweetness and kindness,” is my refrain, along with “I don’t like the way you’re talking to me right now, and I’m going to give you a few minutes to make an adjustment, and if you don’t, I’m going to hold your phone.” It is working, and I see it having a positive affect on his social life with his peers. But it is also possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done – I have never had to be so consistent in my entire life!


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