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And then there was one… again.

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Cordelia is gone. It’s kind of like she just vanished. And the house seems so still. Which is strange becuase Simeon is still here running a-muck.

The hearing was brief. The family came to our home and our goodbye was brief. We all had a good cry, then sat down and shared tears and carrots and magic cookie bars. We played Hullabaloo until we couldn’t breathe, Memory and Chutes and Ladders. Now Leo is drowning his sorrows in a cheesey action flick and I’m, well, I’m here blogging.

We are hurting. Deeply. Because we loved. Deeply. But, I will love again. Deeply. Because I don’t know any better way to heal than to love again. I love them enough to take them in. I love them enough to let them go. And even though I’m tender right now, I know that it will pass and I will look at Cordelia’s sweet smiling picture and be filled with joy.

Oh, and Simeon has already put in an order for a boy. He asked if we were going to buy him a new one.  Apparently he’s already preparing his heart to move on. And perhaps we need to explain a little better exactly what it is we do here.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

7 responses »

  1. Makes me laugh! After our girls left some of the neighborhood boys put in an order for boys “the next time”.

  2. Inspiring and beautiful. Thanks for all you do for the world. My heart aches for you, too.

  3. Thinking about you guys!

  4. I’ve been praying for you. You and Leo truly have hearts of gold. Big hug and smooches. You’re on my heart.

  5. Sitting here hurting for you, hurting with you. Tears filled my eyes as I read this, and I have nothing to say. Words are useless at this point, as you deserve time to grieve and begin healing free from the “baggage”.

    A simple “thank you” is all I have to say right now. Thank you for loving Cordelia even when you knew it would end up hurting you. Thank you for loving her in a way that demonstrates to her the love that Christ has for her. That is an gift more valuable than anything! The vulnerability seems to be the hardest part of fostering, but at the same time, without that vulnerability it seems almost impossible to fully love. So thank you for loving in spite of the hurt, you have no idea how much respect this Texas teenager has for you.

    Prayers and love to you and your family,


  6. Thanks for sharing the wisdom of experience, saying that you’ll eventually look at her picture and feel joy. I need to know that, even with the happy circumstances our foster son is leaving under it is still so crazy, heartwrenching, right, tearjerking, relieving, and confusing.


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