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“I lost my mama. She disappeared, too.”

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We recently watched the movie The Tooth Fairy.

I know.

Anyway, Simeon liked it. Mostly.

At the end of the movie The Rock aka Dwayne Johnson aka The Tooth Fairy does a good deed, then vanishes.

Simeon stares slack-jawed at the screen. “I lost my mama. She disappeared, too.”

His little boy heart knows there’s a hole. Something mama shaped is missing. And he doesn’t know why.

One day he saw her and things got loud and mama got in trouble, suddenly she was missing. And I was witness to the fact that somehow, without ever being told, he knew he lost his mama.

Now he needs an explanation. He needs a story that makes sense. The one I’ve been giving him – Mama made some unwise choices, and now she needs to work really hard to make things right again, but she still loves you and will always be your mama and nothing can ever change that….- that explanation just isn’t good enough. That one doesn’t really make sense.

It breaks my heart for him. As toxic as she is, I worry. I wonder. He doesn’t want to live with his mama, he doesn’t want to visit with her, but he wants to know that she’s there. And to him, she’s disappeared. She’s simply vanished and he may never know her again.

It may be right, but it’s not easy and it’s not perfect and it’s not fair. That’s a tough lesson to learn at three.

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. I don’t know how to write the sound of my heart breaking, but it just did. Big rip, huge tear, many pieces.

    Reply
  2. Oh how very, very sad. How do we explain the unexplainable to our kids?

    Reply
  3. “It may be right, but it’s not easy and it’s not perfect and it’s not fair. That’s a tough lesson to learn at three.”

    There are plenty of people in the world who still don’t get this as adults. As foster parents we’re doing the best we can, which is far from ideal. But it wasn’t our choices that sent the kids to our home.

    When my little foster guy calls me mama (because my kids do) my heart breaks a little for his mom. He’s too young for me to tell him that he has a mama and it isn’t me. Even if I could tell him would it help or hurt? Not easy.

    Reply

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