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Public displays of humiliation, or peeing in public

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We were out running errands.

Simeon can hold his pee for hours, days if it suits him. But the Murphy’s law of shopping with a toddler says that the more disgusting the bathroom, the more urgency your toddler has to relieve himself.

Ugh.

So, in we went to the handicap stall. All three of us.

Fortunately, it was cleaner than the others. This one wasn’t smeared with feces, or erupting urine. Nice.

Simeon goes. Then, since I’m there and it’s clean-ish, I decide to go.

No sooner do I get my pants down and squat, than Simeon decides to test the door lock and swings it wide open. There I am, pants on the ground (lookin’ like a fool…), yelling at my three-year old to close the door… NOW!!!!

Suddenly, he has no thumbs. All dexterity is lost. He freezes. The door rests against the opposite wall. I ignore the disgusted, averted gaze of the woman who enters and resign myself to peeing in public.

I finish as quickly as possible, pull up my pants and flush with my foot, which slips, so I’m forced to catch myself by grabbing the toilet seat, which is probably far more disgusting than the handle I was trying to avoid touching in the first place.

Someday I’ll not only pee without the audience of small children, I’ll pee without the audience of other craft store shoppers, as well.

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

10 responses »

  1. Welcome to motherhood. You have passed initiation! Well done!

    Reply
  2. HA! I’m proud of you for peeing anyway! Oh the life of a mother…

    Reply
  3. lol oh man my nephew would love you..He always sings Pants on the ground pants on the ground looking like a fool with your pants on the ground

    Reply
  4. Been there, done that.

    If we’re ever in the same bathroom together I’d close the door for you. That’s just the kind of anonymous blogging friend I am 😉

    Reply
  5. When I saw the title, I though for sure this would be about Simeon peeing in public. Not so much, huh? lol. Well, just consider it another “joy of motherhood” that can be checked off your list 🙂

    Reply
  6. bahaha! Why are craft store washrooms always so terrible? The amount of money I’ve given to Michael”s, I expect a freakin washroom concierge.
    Glad you didn’t fall in… 😉

    Reply
  7. Oh, dear. Yes, I think that lady should have closed the door for you. This reminds me of the time our 2-year-old FS dumped his tall cup of ice water in my lap while at the Chinese restaurant. I was soaked from waist to knees and had to walk by everyone, leaving the wet booth for the staff to deal with. SO embarassed. What doesn’t kill us… 😉

    Reply
  8. I think part of parenting is the willingness to leave our dignity at the door!

    Reply
  9. Daily, I see little fingers creeping under the locked bathroom door. Boys, let Mommy shit in peace, I beg you.

    Reply

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