We were out running errands.
Simeon can hold his pee for hours, days if it suits him. But the Murphy’s law of shopping with a toddler says that the more disgusting the bathroom, the more urgency your toddler has to relieve himself.
So, in we went to the handicap stall. All three of us.
Fortunately, it was cleaner than the others. This one wasn’t smeared with feces, or erupting urine. Nice.
Simeon goes. Then, since I’m there and it’s clean-ish, I decide to go.
No sooner do I get my pants down and squat, than Simeon decides to test the door lock and swings it wide open. There I am, pants on the ground (lookin’ like a fool…), yelling at my three-year old to close the door… NOW!!!!
Suddenly, he has no thumbs. All dexterity is lost. He freezes. The door rests against the opposite wall. I ignore the disgusted, averted gaze of the woman who enters and resign myself to peeing in public.
I finish as quickly as possible, pull up my pants and flush with my foot, which slips, so I’m forced to catch myself by grabbing the toilet seat, which is probably far more disgusting than the handle I was trying to avoid touching in the first place.
Someday I’ll not only pee without the audience of small children, I’ll pee without the audience of other craft store shoppers, as well.