Leo and I have wondered lately, about Simeon’s attachment, or lack there of.
Specifically in regards to discipline.
We often feel powerless in our abilities to make the discipline in our home matter. Simeon has the irritating ability to be apathetic about pretty much anything. In regards to both reward and removal of things he likes, he can choose to care not one lick if it interferes with his desire to disobey, or throw a fit, or shut us out.
We worried that our disapproval or disappointment and well as our approval or pride was without merit for him, as well.
I began to pray. I prayed that some of that parent-child bond would begin to form. That we would be more than those nice people who have no meaning and no power and nothing to teach.
Last night, Simeon pooped in his pants. He called to Leo for help cleaning up. When Leo got back there, Simeon whispered “no tell Mama [Monica].”
Leo explained that he did not keep secrets from me and neither should Simeon. It was all fine and worked out well in the end.In the past, he never cared if I knew he had pooped. He didn’t care if it made me angry or dissapointed or if it was disgusting. Last night I was able to celebrate that he wanted to keep a secret from me.
I know, crazy right?
But this means that Simeon cares. If only for his own peace. He cares about whether or not I am upset about something he’s done. He has some feeling associated with whether or not I am angry, or disappointed, or grossed out. Whatever it is that made him not want me to know about his accident means that he has made some investment in the relationship. I matter.
It’s such a small thing. Such a little gesture. And one I typically wouldn’t be celebrating, but it’s an answer to prayer and one for which I am extremely thankful.