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Loving well hurts.

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We haven’t slept.

She’s going back to the ER. This time it’s a fever. We don’t know why.

Leo went. I’m home with Simeon. I couldn’t go, I was a wreck. I could barely hold it together enough to get her to the car.

I’m strong. I know I’m strong. But I’m only so strong. And here, where I can be vulnerable, I want to say that today I feel very weak.

I’m scared. I love baby Cordelia so very much. I love her so deeply already. I’ve forgone sleep and meals and complete thoughts since she arrived, and I’d gladly give more to have her in our lives.

I’m always surprised by how quickly I love them.

I’m surprised by how stressful loving such tiny beings can be.

I’m delighted that in my weakness, I have hope.

I believe that Cordelia is in our home, our arms, our hearts for a reason. We prayed her here before we even knew who we were praying for. I’m going to trust that God’s keeping her safe.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

One response »

  1. Sweet friend, I am here if you need me. Just call. Praying for Cordelia. Heck, I’m praying for all of you. I love you so much and hate to hear my friend is falling apart. But I guess love is worth falling apart for.


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