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Not enough time

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Yesterday, Leo’s brother and family came over for dinner. Luckily, they do not judge and love us in spite of the state of our home.

I say luckily because yesterday did not go as planned.

First, I was supposed to take Simeon and Claudius to mother’s morning out per Simeon’s play therapist’s last recommendation, but once I got there I learned they are not open for this week. So, four hours to go to the store and straighten the house alone were gone.

My new plan was to take the boys swimming early then put a on a movie. Simeon bit Claudius (why?) which required discipline, so there went an hour and half of alone time.

Then after naps, Simeon woke up looking out of sorts, so I snuggled him on the couch and he fell back to sleep.

That’s when the world slowed. I lay there next to that sweet little boy and inhaled deeply his little boy smell. I felt his puppy breath on my face and his gerbil heart racing against my arm. I watched his eyelids flutter as he dreamed and praised the Lord for this gift.

A little while later, Claudius began calling from his room, so I moved Simeon and went to get Claudius thinking I could work once the boys were both up.

As soon as I picked Claudius up, he buried his head in my chest and rubbed his eyes with his chubby little fists and I couldn’t put him down again. I sat with both boys on the couch silent and still and wanting to be near me.

I couldn’t move. The time with them goes by so quickly. And not just because little boys grow up so fast, but because my time with them may actually be only a few months, or weeks, or even days. I must experience¬†fuly and commit entirely to every moment I have with them.

Leo says it may be easier to fall so deeply in love since we are always aware of how little time we have. I think he may be onto something.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go wrangle the wild monkeys into the car. Moments like yesterday are truly fleeting and rare.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

One response »

  1. Beautiful. I have tears. And really, this is the case for all of us. Every minute matters.


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