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The good news is the bad news

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I haven’t talked much about Simeon’s dad here. Mostly because he was entirely irrelevant until recently.

A few months ago, dad was cleared of some mess and visitation was granted. Simeon met his dad and has visited a few times. Overall this is good for both of them, I guess.

Except Mom is fighting a losing battle and will likely face TPR soon. Or at least, they will alter the plan in hopes to scare her straight. No family placement has been approved.

This leaves the only possibility dad. A life long drug abuser with mental health and anger management issues who’s been clean for just over six months.

We got word that he may have failed a recent drug screening.

He passed. Which is good for him and Simeon, I suppose.

I’m feeling a bit guilty that I’m so disappointed.

We never went into foster parenting with plans to adopt. We never imagined ourselves with a child forever.

But now… well now we do.

And every success that the parents make, causes terror and heart-ache in me. That’s not how this is supposed to work. I want to be rooting for the families to reunite. But his time, if they reunite, I lose one of the greatest loves of my life… it will be loss and heartbreak for me. I cannot even imagine it.

In other news: we’re all still in love with Claudius. These boys are incredible together. This is the happiest house I’ve ever had (except Leo’s gone again this week, which makes it a very sad house indeed). So… until we have reason to be sad or anxious, I’ll continue enjoying my boys and trust int he Lord for everything else.

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

4 responses »

  1. I completely understand. Sometimes I find my wandering to that place and have to catch my breath. Though there is some comfort in the fact that its out of our hands – I have to believe that whatever’s meant to be, will be.

    Reply
  2. Oh I wish I could say it’s meant to be because they get along so well. But I guess that’s nieve (from what I’ve heard, still waiting on a placement myself).

    It’s such a roller coaster ride. Enjoy it all with him, your love won’t be wasted no matter the outcome.

    Reply
  3. I do not have a blog but reading this post it sounds like I wrote it. I am a social worker and had always wanted/hoped/helped people succeed. But now as a foster parent my stomach hurts and my heart aches when I hear a birth parent is doing good. I have had my foster child for 2 years. They continue to give mom chances….she now has unsupervised visits that nobody feels good about. Nobody but the judge and mom feels that she can handle this child on her own. So I continue to wait….for mom to fail. And pray this child does not suffer because of it.

    Reply
  4. Oh and where in your case the dad showed up….in my case the grandmother showed up.

    Reply

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