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I went bathing suit shopping…

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I am most me in summer. I love to swim and I’m at the pool a lot, so I needed  to go bathing suit shopping.

I know some people dread this very act. I don’t really.

The problem is, that bathing suit designers must think I do.

I went to a big box store and tried on several suits. I walked out with an XL in misses. It just fits and there’s no room for growth, but it’s really cute and flattering to my figure. I feel a little sexy and also modest. Exactly my most comfortable!

The problem is, though, I sometimes need plus-sized clothes, especially when covering my bottom half, so I did try on several plus-sized suits. It was one of the most depressing experiences of my life. The suits were big and shapeless. Wearing those suits, covered every one of my curves. I felt like I was wearing a big spandex sack.

This venture made me really stop and assess myself. What I like and what I don’t. Afterall, if I need plus-sized clothing, should I be ashamed of my shape? Should I naturally want my clothes to be baggy and formless?

No. No I don’t. I like me. I’m proud of me. I finally stood there in the suit I bought and took a good long look at me. Here’s what I saw:

I have curves. Big, soft, curves.

My hips are wide and my waist is small. This is the perfect seat for babies. Soft, well balanced.

My breasts are heavier than they’ve ever been. Full. Womanly. I like the round shape of them.

My belly, too. I like the roundness of it. The softness of it. Sure, I would love it still if there were less of it, but I’m ok with it for now.

My legs are thick and sturdy and strong. I carry all of my curves plus many babies on these legs. They bear the scars of my childhood. They’ve been broken and shattered more times than I can count, and still I keep going.

My feet are small and sweet. I like my stair step toes, always red.

I like that my hair is dark. I like that my skin is ruddy and red like the clay on the land my great grandparents worked. I like that I’m soft and warm. I like that when my husband pulls me close, I am ample enough for him. He can wrap his arms around me and I fill up the space between us. I like that when my babies climb in my lap, they have a soft place to lay their heads.

There was a time when I despised the way I looked. There are days that insecurity has me second guessing wardrobe choices again and again, but I’m slowly growing less ashamed of my form. I’ve no desire to hide or disguise me. I like me. I am proud to be me.

Tell me friends, what do you like? If you haven’t taken time to look lately, spare a moment and give yourself a nice long once over. What are the beautiful parts of you? Share if you wish. It feels good.

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

6 responses »

  1. my sweet friend, what an inspiration you are to us. I love my always pale red hair, even though I need some assistance from L’Oreal each month to keep it that way. I love my bright blue eyes. My husband loves them too. My little square feet with the coral polish. My hourglass figure, waist a little thicker than it used to be but still narrow. Rounded hips and breasts. Womanly. I love my right shoulder blade with the Iris tattoo. God always places irises in my life when something amazing is going to happen. The tattoo reminds me always of his great love for me. I like that my skin is like ivory. Whiter than paper is how my husband first described me to his family! It’s known as English Rose in my country. LOL

    Reply
  2. What a great post. I hate bathing suit shopping because I listen to the world telling me that I’m not good enough the way I am. I know deep down it isn’t true, but it’s hard to fight it. Yesterday I had my yearly and the midwife told me I could lose a few pounds. I workout several times a week and try to eat healthy, for now that has to be enough. I’m working towards the attitude you show here, loving my body for all it has given me and what it allows me to do.

    I have a nude sculpture (tasteful and modest) in my bedroom that is of a normal beautiful woman, whose body looks like mine. It reminds me that my body, natural and rounded like yours, is beautiful. I like my blue eyes and have finally figured out that I have great hair.

    Reply
  3. I love this. You’re lovely.

    I love my strong shoulders, lean and broad.

    Reply
  4. This post is very thought provoking. If anyone looked at us side by side I know there would be some serious “judging of books by their cover.” But the reality is I could never, ever feel this good about myself. I hate bathing suit shopping and if I sat here an hour I could never list things I like about my body. Way too much insecurity.

    I have always thought you were beautiful. I am so glad you posted this (although it got a little PG-13 there for a second,lol).

    And you did look pretty hot in that bathing suit!

    Reply
  5. Precious, you are. I love this post. I love my feet, my legs and my eyes, though my feet sweat way more than any normal person. The rest of me is debatable. Most mornings I look at myself in the mirror and think, dang, you look good. Of course, the world would say differently.

    Love ya, sweetie. And by the way, I did catch a glimpse of you this morning at church and would totally agree that you look mighty fine, especially with that handsome little fella on your hip.

    Reply
  6. Thank you for this.

    Reply

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