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Here we go a-courtin’

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Simeon was at visitation recently and someone noted how nice it must be for me to get a mandatory break every once in a while. Without thinking I blurted “it’s not nice! I like being with him.”

Then I realized how much I meant it. I don’t like it when he’s gone. Especially at a visitation.

We have court coming up very soon.

I know that everyone with a say will be suggesting Simeon stay with us.

Each day he’s in our care, I become more and more attached.

His mother is still doing ridiculous things. Her priorities are way off and that’s an understatement.

She brought a strange man to visitation. That she has only twice a month. For two hours.

*sigh* I don’t want to pray that this woman loses her child.

But I don’t want to lose him either.

I feel like a life with her is one without hope. I fear he will be doomed to following in her footsteps.

I didn’t sign up for this. For so much love. For so much bonding. For so many I love yous that may never get said. For this much hope. For this much dread.

And yet.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

4 responses »

  1. Tears. Simply beyond our capability to understand the plan for this beautiful little boy.

    Just gotta trust that there is a plan indeed.

  2. I have had my foster daughter for 23 months (she came to live with me at 10 months old) and the end is no where near!!! I thought by now she would be gone or heading towards adoption. How long can this child be in foster care? It is not right or fair to any of us…..her parents, myself, to all the wonderful friends and family who love her…..and it is not fair to HER!!!

  3. Ahhhh…”and yet.” A lot behind those words!

  4. It is so hard. Nothing has tested my trust in God more than having to say goodbye to kiddos going into the unknown. But he does have a plan, and he loves these kids more than we ever could.
    It seems foster parents never really get the FULL story of what is going on in a case until the last minute, yeah?


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