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So long, Farewell, auf weidershen, goodbye…

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Angelo and Bianca just left.

It’s a mixture of hopefulness for them, sadness at saying goodbye, and a huge sigh of relief for me.

Now I can sleep. For a week. Simeon will have to fend for himself.

I kid. Sort of.

I feel like I’m taking a deep breath for the first time in two weeks. Simeon is quiet and still and focused for the first time in two weeks. I’m looking forward to finally being able to sweep my floors, catch up on laundry, wash dishes, and think complete thoughts again.

And yet.

I feel a little empty.

Like there’s a big something missing. The house seems to echo and it’s a bit unsettling.

I suppose I should go ahead and wash the sheets, re-organize the closets and wait for the phone to ring.

Maybe this time it will be someone small and easily contained. One who doesn’t talk, or walk, or declare that our apple juice taste like sour bath water.

A girl can dream can’t she?


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

3 responses »

  1. …and we all let out a sigh with you…whether it is of relief or sadness or both.

  2. I love your honesty, and your understanding that not everybody is a perfect fit. If I am ever going to foster, I will remember this, and remember that it is okay to not feel guilt. Or, too much guilt anyway.

  3. Where's the Party?

    I have been reading about your dilemma with great interest. I’ll be honest, I was disappointed when you said you’d decided to find a new home for them. BUT I’m not you, and I’m not Simeon’s mom.
    My husband and I started this fostering journey with the idea that unless there was a safety risk, we would never ask for a child to be moved. So thank you for helping me see beyond that and to remember that life as a foster parent is not rigid or set in stone – we have to be flexible to all potential options, even ones we thought we’d never consider.


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