The children will be moving to a new home.
It’s going to be hard for them, but I think they will get better care in the long run. They also won’t have me screaming at them all day. That will be nice for them.
It’s not going to be so hard for us. I won’t be screaming all day. That will be nice for me.
Fostering isn’t easy. I don’t mold the children from infancy to follow my voice, to hear my heart, to understand my motivation. We don’t yet know the subtleties of each personality. They come, ready made and in the throws of development, having a view and understanding of the workings of their worlds.
Sometimes the fit is perfect. Simeon fits well.
Sometimes it’s a bit stretching, but we all change for the better. Ophelia made us better.
Sometimes it doesn’t work. They aren’t bad children. We aren’t bad parents. We simply do not fit. And unlike friendships, co-workers, family members, these relationships MUST work well for the children to begin healing. To keep the foster parents going, willing and able. Angelo and Bianca do not fit. Currently, Simeon is suffering more from their presence than they will from their move.
It isn’t easy. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them. It doesn’t mean we don’t hope and pray as desperately as we did for the ones before. I dare say we hope and pray bigger. More passionately. With fervor.
It’s been a dark two weeks. It’s been a hard two weeks. My whole body aches from stress and exhaustion. My heart aches from the waiting, the trying, the deciding. But, I can see the light and I’m ready to move on.