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Goodbye. Again.

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*I tried posting this yesterday, but had technical difficulties and little patience*

All of the missionary training we’ve had is paying off again. We’re getting good at these goodbyes.

Ophelia is going home today. I’m waiting on laundry to dry, then I’m dropping her off. I’ve got her in her cutest outfit. I spruced up her braids a bit. I made sure she was nice and clean.

It will be nice to have a quiet night. Not something we’ve had for 19 days.

It will be nice for Simeon to have his things to himself. To watch a movie in peace, to not share snacks, to be selfish with snuggles.

It will be nice to sleep the whole night through, or to wake only half as often. Betweent the two of them, we were up 7 times in a three hour span last night.

The house will feel empty. The dinner table will seem huge. The pink things will be packed away. *sigh*

Though, the goodbyes have been different with each child, the logistcal detials are more streamlined.

Still, they haven’t gotten easier. Yeah, this is the hardest part. It’s always the hardest part, but I already love her too much not to let her go. She has a family who wants her back. They’re working hard and are willing to live under pretty intrusive eyes. The extended family is working together to help the parents make things right, and they deserve that chance. The implication that we don’t love them enough to keep them is absurd and I’m reminded of it every time I pack the things of a child into a few small bags.

The space they occupied in my home might not be very big, but the piece of my heart they filled up sure feels immense.

I’ll be busy re-organizing my house tonight. Simeon and I have an insane day tomorrow. Before long my phone will ring and I’ll say yes and I’ll be ready to do all of this all over again.

**note: last night, after I did not post this, someone from Ophelia’s family called to thank us for taking such good care of her. That thank you meant the world.


About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

2 responses »

  1. You’re building cathedrals, Monica.

  2. It is so hard to say goodbye. I hate that part of fostering. But it’s only hard to say goodbye because you loved each other well.


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