For the past two days, Simeon has been brewing with anger. Every once in a while, his eyes will flash and he’ll erupt in a rage, or begin yelling. Yesterday, he waggled his finger and yelled at his therapist for a good five minutes. She said he just needs more time, more patience, more love. Patience and love we have… how much time will it take to soften the hard and angry places?
The answer, I don’t know, but we’re trying what we can while we’ve got him. We pray non-stop. He’s been making huge improvements, but the last couple of days have felt serious regression and I’m about to loose my marbles!!!!! I. kid. you. not. This boy is driving me crazy!
Monday, shortly before his nap I lost my temper because he pooped in his pants. Again. When he woke up, he woke up in a full rage. I remembered the parenting techniques I’ve been reading about and sat with him for a while, then told him that I thought he might be angry because I had lost my temper and he was trying to show me how mad he was, then I offered to leave. Throughout the rage he had been trying to hit and kick me, but when I began to move, he clamored into my lap and hiccupped into my shoulder.
Yes, he was angry. No, he did not want me to go. Sigh.
This morning, instead of coming into my room with arms thrown wide to welcome the morning, he stood in the livingroom with an empty bowl screaming. Why? I. don’t. know.
A few minutes later he came into my room without pants. I told him to put his pants back on. When he came back, he was stark naked.
“Simeon! Put your clothes back on!”
He screamed, he raged, he collapsed on the floor and banged his head. He dumped his clean laundry basket on the floor. He sobbed. He kicked….
I did not stay calm and collected. I marched into his room, picked up his clothes and began throwing his foam blocks the way he was. He began hoarding them. I asked him to scream louder. I told him I wouldn’t believe him until he really screamed. So he did. Really? Did anyone see that working?
Leo kissed us both goodbye and hurried from the house through a gauntlet of flying laundry and foam blocks. Simeon screamed. I made my bed. That’s it, I thought! I’ve got to get it together and get this kid out of crazy before my hair catches fire.
I put on my warmest coat and slippers. Marched into his room and yelled: “Simeon, let’s go! We’re going to play outside!!!” It was 7:30 and 27 degrees. I knew the neighbors behind me were at work and prayed the old guy next door couldn’t see us from so far away.
Stark naked as he was, he followed me right out to the back door. I got to the porch and he froze (figuratively). He wouldn’t step outside. “Come on!!!” I sung. “Let’s count all the sticks in the yard, you know sticks, they must be counted!”
He stood there, arms wrapped around his tiny, naked body. A slow smile crept across his face. “No. I cold.”
I looked surprised. “Oh, you must be cold because you are naked! Of course! Would you like to go put your pajamas on.”
Wide eyed, he nodded.
“OK then, but hurry, we must keep track of our sticks!”
He ran back to his room and reemerged in his pajamas. He got to the back door, but wasn’t wearing shoes and socks, so his feet were cold. (for the record, I was freaking freezing too!) Then he got it. I could see the light flash in his eyes. He looked up and said “I get dressed PLEASE!!!!”
That was it! He asked nicely, he was calm and logical. “Of course, you must be dressed to play outside! Let’s go find something warm to wear! Oh, and that was so nice that you said please!”
I got him dressed and sent him back outside where he played for about 2.5 seconds. It was still freaking cold! He’s been defiant, controlling and angry all morning, but at least I know I can still out-crazy him.
If you pray for us. Please pray we can figure out what’s brewing inside him, and then help him find a way to deal with it. He’s had fitful sleeps, and several nightmares. I don’t know how to get to the source and he’s wearing on me. I have to work on my crazy and I don’t know how much show I have left before I really crack!