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Ready to know.

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We’ve had Zeb a little less than 48 hours and I’m ready to know whether or not to commit to this kid. He’s got some issues (won’t they all). I have no idea what life for him was like before now, but this kid has been traumatized for sure. He may never have been away from his parents, he may have been a co-sleeper. He seems well cared for and missing love. I spent almost the entire day yesterday one armed. He’s now next to me on the sofa, but has his hand on my leg. I made lunch with him wrapped around my knee. I did dishes with him parked in the high chair at the counter next to me. He napped in my lap. I almost broke the rules and let him sleep with us last night. It was midnight and he was still crying.

Zeb’s got a really laid back personality so far. He’s incredibly quiet and unless he’s more than 10 ft from us, pretty mellow. If I dare to walk away without first notifying him, or taking him on hip, he screams. It’s heart breaking. And frustrating.

We should hear something late this afternoon and frankly, I’m really anxious. My gut says that he will go and that he’ll be OK. Given the state in which he arrived, he seems cared for. And his parent bonds are really strong. I pray that this whole ordeal was an isolated incident. I’ve decided that I’m OK if he stays. We’ll be able to bond and I’ll start him on some semblance of a routine. Regardless of the outcome, I just want to know.

That’s the worst part of this gig. The not knowing. Will they stay? How long? Should I plan a vacation, a family outing, lunch? Unfortunately, waiting is the only option I have. So, I’m trying to stay chill today. I pray that the outcome of the hearing is in the best interest of our little Zeb.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

One response »

  1. Oh, I’m kind of in love with the little guy already. Sending prayers your and his way.

    Reply

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