The statement ‘I could never be a foster parent because I could never give them back, I would just love them too much…’ has got to be my biggest foster parent pet peeve, ever! I am not kidding you. I hear this almost daily and it is really starting to burn me up.
First, one may think that this statement is complimentary to the foster parent, but there is a reverse to that statement: ‘You’re a good foster parent because you don’t love them enough to invest in them forever…’ (which I would argue) I readily recognize that this is not what most people mean when they make that comment. But I really wish they would say nothing, or be honest. How about “I could never be a foster parent because:
I don’t want to inconvenience my current comfortable lifestyle, I’m scared of what the kids will be like, I don’t know that I would be equipped to handle the emotional or behavioral issues these children can have, it’s too hard to get in the system, I’m worried for the safety of my own children, it’s clearly not a calling on my life, I’ve already done my time parenting, etc, etc, etc.”
There are millions of reasons why people don’t foster parent. Some of them are good reasons, but it sounds absurd to say one would love a child too much to give them hope, safety and family. And it sounds pretty stinkin’ selfish too.