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Sad, happy, sad, thankful, sad.

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Last weekend I took Reuben to visitation with his mother and we discussed the order that he be returned this weekend. His mother was excited and I was happy for her. I didn’t really think about life without him.

Yesterday I got a call telling me that he would be going home next weekend. The 2nd. Then I got a call back that said he would be going home this weekend. Then I got a message saying that he would be going home next weekend. Seriously.

Leo is travelling for work this weekend (that makes me sad), so we he went ahead and cried his goodbyes over Reuben’s crib last night. But, as of this morning, we still thought he may be with us a week more. I took both boys to the welfare office to get Reuben caught up on his vouchers and check-ups (can you say 2 hours of misery?). I came home to no emails or messages, so I assumed he would be coming back to us after this weekend.

At 2:30 I got an email that said he is going home for good today. That his case manager would come by next week to have me sign some papers and submit my invoices. The end. So, I’ve been scrambling around trying to get everything packed. Luckily I caught up on laundry yesterday (blech!), and won’t have to take any dirty clothes.

Now I’ve got to prepare Simeon to say goodbye to his foster brother. Sad. I’ve got to hold it together so that he’ll understand what a good thing this is. Impossible? We’re going to stop by the store and pick up some pictures I have waiting to put in an album for Reuben’s mom, then that’s it. It’s over and he’s gone. We’ve been told we’ll be called if he comes back into care, but I’m prepared to never see him again.

I am sad to see him go. I am happy his mother is doing well and that they will be reunited. I am sad that I may never know what happens to him in the future. I am thankful that I got to know him, to be changed by him and I know my God will be with him all the days of his life. I’m still sad for me. He will be missed. Very much.

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About Monica

Christ following, husband loving, children hugging foster and adoptive mama.

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